Why Sideburns are called Sideburns? And other shit...

It was a lovely Saturday lunch time and I was in my local pub, The County Arms, watching Hartlepool and West Ham in the FA Cup fourth round. West Ham won two nil by the way. COME ON YOU IRONS!!! I can feel it in my bones, it is our year to win the FA Cup. Anyway...When at the bar, there was this drunk Scottish bloke watching Rangers and Aberdeen on another TV. He noticed my furry sideburns and decided to talk to me. I've had sideburns since I was fifteen and have stuck with them since. I can recall one period when I shaved them off, but it was very brief. Back to the Scottish bloke, he asked me if knew why sideburns are called sideburns. I said to him that I didn't have a flippin scooby, no idea mate, haven't the foggiest. So he told me, sideburns are called sideburns because back in the old days blokes use to grow them to protect the side of their face, from the sparks made from the gunpowder when shooting a rifle. Pretty neat. I decided to check it out and launch yet another investigation.

What I found out did not match the Scottish blokes tale. Apparently there was this general in the American civil war called Ambrose Everett Burnside who grew them, and they later became known as sideburns. However, I have decided to trust a Scot on this occasion. His story does make sense. Sideburns were around before the American Civil War, they were quite popular for soldiers in the Napoleonic period. Furthermore, if you go into a Scottish National Art Gallery, all the old portraits of Scottish blokes have sideburns. So, he probably knows what hes talking about.

And I now present to you my favourite set of Sideburns.

Its Oliver Reed playing Bill Sykes in Oliver Twist. Look at them motherfuckers. You can just tell instantly that he plays an absolute bastard. I once grew a pair of mutton chops. They were banging. But ridiculous.

Enough of sideburns. This week, I was very keen on purchasing a chess set to up my game. I went into town and the average price for a chess set on the high street is twenty quid. TWENTY QUID! Thats well dear. Instead, I bought one off of ebay for a tenner. Pretty good buy. Entirely made of wood. Here is a picture of a game I played with Flat Eric. Look.

I have totally done him up with the old 'knight fork' technique (I'm white btw). He hasn't got a clue. Biting his nails, wondering what to do next. However, there is nothing he can do. I always beat him. Looking at him now, he probably need a run through the washing machine. Should stop using him as a duster.

Lastly, because I like listening to things, I want to spread my music taste to all of you.

Album of the Post- Santogold, by Santogold. Got some good tunes like L.E.S. Artistes and Creator. Its a very well balanced album. Proper hip.

Song of the Post- Concrete Schoolyard, by Jurassic 5. http://www.myspace.com/jurassic5 I'm more of a East Coast guy, but this West shit is nang.

Peace out.

Tricko.