Brum is a Bastard.

Who remembers Brum? You know, that little yellow brummy car with the eyes for headlights, and he would sneak out of that old geezers workshop and get up to all sorts of mad adventures. Hang on! Brum? Brummy? I get it now. Not just because Brum is a car, but he lives in Birmingham. Here is a example off of Youtube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAfRzbC3nLc

There is one question that has bothered me since I first watched Brum. Is Brum a man or a woman? I know Brum is a car, so technically we should refer Brum as 'it'. However, I'm sure the target audience of the show would assume Brum to have a gender. Well, unfortunately, I couldn't seem to find a answer. Maybe children don't actually expect Brum to have a gender and it is just me. :/ Feel free to comment if you have any evidence. My comments are open to anyone.

What I do like about Brum is how he gets away with sneaking pass that old geezer every time he goes to his work bench. We the audience can hear its engine brumming away. He must be death in his old age. Another thing I don't understand about Brum is why does Brum have to keep himself a secret from the old geezer when everyone in town knows that he is a living car. Its just out of order. Just because he is a old geezer with alzheimer's, and is probably repainting the same car part at his work bench a different colour every day because he can't remember what colour he decided apon, everyone else sees that as a good enough reason to keep him in the dark. Bear outerz.


He probably does have the old alzheimer's. He always finds a new item in the back seat of Brum and doesn't see a pattern. Alzheimer's is a terrible condition, especially for the people around you. However, for you, I can imagine it not being that bad. Like, you wouldn't have a clue what going on and that your going to die. And life, will literally be full of surprises. Have I gone a bit too far there? Anyway, I guess I wouldn't like to get it. Some alzheimer's awareness woman once told me that the earliest age someone has been diagnosed with alzheimer's was 23. Fuck that shit, I'm going home.

I wouldn't say Brum was my favourite show as a child, it has always been Thomas the Tank Engine. Did you know that Thomas the Tank Engine is the most suitable show for autistic children, due to the different colours, numbers, and simple facial expressions of the trains. I suggest you mention that next time autism is the subject of conversation.

My music recommendation this post will be a special one as I will recommend two albums. The first album of the post is 'Years of Refusal' by Morrissey. Decent tunes and the lyrics are hilarious, full of shit that only Morrissey can come up with. Here are some examples:

“Mama, why did you do it? Mama, who drove you to it? Was it the pigs in gray suits persecuting you? Uncivil servants, unconcerned that's how they frighten you?”

“There's a naked man standing, laughing in your dreams. You know who it is. But you don't like what it means.”

“I was a small, fat child in a council house. There was only one thing I ever dreamed about. And Fate has just Handed it to me – whoopee”

There are plenty more, but these are the ones I can recall at the moment. Seriously though, it is a good album.

I'm sure you will be able to guess what the next album is, since it is one of the most anticipated this month. Furthermore, I presume you can see the album cover before reading this sentence. So... 'Invaders Must Die' by The Prodigy. I only just got it today so only listened to it once, but it is pretty immense. My favourite songs so far are 'Take Me to the Hospital' and 'Run with the Wolves'.

Catch yah on the flipside.

Tricko

The New Adventures of Jesus

I DID IT! I finally made my own cartoon and you can watch it on Youtube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeKl0lRfgGU

I know the quality is shit but it is my first try. It is better than the Snowman one anyway. The Snowman film is unfortunately not available on Youtube any more, so if the upload of it on my blog doesn't work on your computer I'm sorry. However, as I said this is loads better.

I am also sorry about the lateness of my post. I have been busy doing a lot of reading. This includes A Clockwork Orange, which so far is the best book I have ever read.

For Music, I recommend Nine Inch Nail's album 'The Downward Spiral.' It is a bit of a hard album to get into and Trent Reznor can be a tad bit emo sometimes, but if you stick with it, it truly is a brilliant complex album. You should be satisfied.

And my song shall be 'Would?' by Alice in Chains, just because I love them.
http://www.myspace.com/aliceinchains
It is the first song. The end of it always makes him grunge out. Every time.

My next post will be posted sooner this time, and will have more context to it. I shall leave you with some words from Chris Moyles...

“I'm a fat cunt.”

Cheers Chris.

Tricko.

Horney Snowman. 2

**For some reason my latest post is not working on a number of computers. I believe it was the dodgey uploading of blogger. So, here it is again, but with a link to the video on youtube.**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfn7WfeZO5c&feature=channel_page

Because it was snowing in Britain, my university peers and I decided to make a snowman. When finished we decided it looked like a rapist. Well I did anyway. So, came the idea of a short movie of our snowman chatting up a nearby snowman/snow-woman made by some girls. I wouldn't call the movie brilliant, due to the lack of pictures. However, it's a start. You should take into account that the Rapist Snowman is behind the Snow-woman.

My friend Michael supplied the pictures, which meant I had to make it a Trow Production, but once you see the ending I'm sure you will realise that I didn't mind. Even though I made all of it myself on Windows Movie Maker. Windows Movie Maker is actually quite simple. Maybe I shall make a cartoon for all of you to watch. How exciting.

I don't think this post is big enough to have my music selections of the week. Just listen to some Joy Division.

Keep rolling.

Tricko.

The Horny Snowman

It was a lovely Saturday lunch time and I was in my local pub, The County Arms, watching Hartlepool and West Ham in the FA Cup fourth round. West Ham won two nil by the way. COME ON YOU IRONS!!! I can feel it in my bones, it is our year to win the FA Cup. Anyway...When at the bar, there was this drunk Scottish bloke watching Rangers and Aberdeen on another TV. He noticed my furry sideburns and decided to talk to me. I've had sideburns since I was fifteen and have stuck with them since. I can recall one period when I shaved them off, but it was very brief. Back to the Scottish bloke, he asked me if knew why sideburns are called sideburns. I said to him that I didn't have a flippin scooby, no idea mate, haven't the foggiest. So he told me, sideburns are called sideburns because back in the old days blokes use to grow them to protect the side of their face, from the sparks made from the gunpowder when shooting a rifle. Pretty neat. I decided to check it out and launch yet another investigation.

What I found out did not match the Scottish blokes tale. Apparently there was this general in the American civil war called Ambrose Everett Burnside who grew them, and they later became known as sideburns. However, I have decided to trust a Scot on this occasion. His story does make sense. Sideburns were around before the American Civil War, they were quite popular for soldiers in the Napoleonic period. Furthermore, if you go into a Scottish National Art Gallery, all the old portraits of Scottish blokes have sideburns. So, he probably knows what hes talking about.

And I now present to you my favourite set of Sideburns.

Its Oliver Reed playing Bill Sykes in Oliver Twist. Look at them motherfuckers. You can just tell instantly that he plays an absolute bastard. I once grew a pair of mutton chops. They were banging. But ridiculous.

Enough of sideburns. This week, I was very keen on purchasing a chess set to up my game. I went into town and the average price for a chess set on the high street is twenty quid. TWENTY QUID! Thats well dear. Instead, I bought one off of ebay for a tenner. Pretty good buy. Entirely made of wood. Here is a picture of a game I played with Flat Eric. Look.

I have totally done him up with the old 'knight fork' technique (I'm white btw). He hasn't got a clue. Biting his nails, wondering what to do next. However, there is nothing he can do. I always beat him. Looking at him now, he probably need a run through the washing machine. Should stop using him as a duster.

Lastly, because I like listening to things, I want to spread my music taste to all of you.

Album of the Post- Santogold, by Santogold. Got some good tunes like L.E.S. Artistes and Creator. Its a very well balanced album. Proper hip.

Song of the Post- Concrete Schoolyard, by Jurassic 5. http://www.myspace.com/jurassic5 I'm more of a East Coast guy, but this West shit is nang.

Peace out.

Tricko.

Does Conjoined Twin Myslexia Exist? I Investigate.

When watching the season two South Park episode 'Conjoined Fetus Lady' last weekend, it made me wonder, does Conjoined Twin Myslexia exist? If you are not aware of this, Conjoined Twin Myslexia is a condition where one of the conjoined twins dies in the womb and it's fetus is conjoined to the surviving twins head. Well, that is it to the best of my knowledge. So I went onto Google, turnt the safe search off, and Google imaged it. Have you seen this South Park episode by the way? It's the one when the boys play dodge ball and go to the world championship in China, as well as Nurse Gollum who has Conjoined Twin Myslexia. No? Well watch it then. Those Chinese commentators are jokes. It's the fifth episode of season two. I know the later series are mostly considered better, but season two and three are pretty good to.

I couldn't seem to find a believable picture on Google, so I typed it into Wikipedia and it showed me the page of the South Park episode I mentioned, where it said, “Kyle is horrified to discover, however, that she has a dead fetus attached to her head, due to a (fictional) condition called "Conjoined Twin Myslexia."” So there we have it, it doesn't exist. The creators of South Park made it up. However, I decided to look more into conjoined twins and read about the different types. There is Craniopagus (6% of conjoined twins), where the twins skulls are fused together, and there is Parasitic Twins (10%), where one twin is smaller and less formed. If you mix up them two types of conjoined twins, and if one of them was dead, you kind of get Conjoined Twin Myslexia. You reckon?

Reading more of Conjoined Twins on Wikipeida I found out that the condition is more common among females, on a ratio of 3:1. That sucks for girls, but they do normally have it better than men. Women tend to live longer, mature eariler and don't get colour blindness. These slight disadvantages probably don't even compare with child birth though. Women can easily become electricans as they won't get confused with different colour wires. Why aren't there hardly any female electricans? It doesn't make sense.

Conjoined Twins may not be a very upbeat subject. But to cheer you up even more, here are a few celebrities with Conjoined Twin Myslexia.

Tricko

Why do I draw these pictures?