WAHEY! I’M BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!
Sorry for not updating for a long while but you know how it is when you are not in a blogging mood. It is easy to start a blog but just as easy to lose interest. However I’m back now and will produce another number of posts.
This post will be about one of the greatest games on the Nintendo Entertainment System, Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!! And I found a website where you can play it for free. It was quite easy to find a site to play it actually. You can find loads through Google, but this is my most preferred.
WARNING!!! Don’t use the save function on this link as it tends to make the game slow down and jump. It did for me on Firefox anyway. Plus you shouldn’t be a cheating bastard.
The plot to this game is that you play as Little Mac from the Bronx who wants to make his way through the ranks of boxing by beating opponents that are all bigger than him in order to fight Mike Tyson, with help from his trainer Doc Louis. I say help. During fights he mostly gives you boxing clichés such as “Stick and move, stick and move!” and “One two, one two punch Mac!” which is why I will write a walkthrough for you in order to succeed in this game. Anyone who is familiar with YTMND will recognise Doc when he is riding a bike between circuits.
• Z and X make Mac do a left and right stomach punch.
• If you hold the UP ARROW KEY while punching Mac does a face punch.
• LEFT and RIGHT ARROW KEY makes Mac dodge from left to right.
• DOWN ARROW KEY makes Mac block. If you double tap it Mac ducks.
• ENTER is your select button, when the game says “PUSH START” you press ENTER. However during a fight it makes Mac do a super punch (when you have a star) that inflicts more damage.
• Each fight is three rounds long. You can win by decision when you earn a certain amount of points. However, there are a few opponents that you cannot beat by decision. This includes the Championship fights, King Hippo and Mr Sandman.
• If you press the SPACE BAR in between rounds Doc Louis will start to rub Mac’s shoulder and give him a health boost. However the amount of health is random, so sometimes you can gain a lot of health or hardly any at all. If you press it before the fight Mac will lose health. But why would you want to do that, unless you want more of a challenge.
• You can only hold three stars in your Star Meter in the top left hand corner, which are given for certain punches when the opponent isn’t stunned.
• Your Heart Meter, next to the Star Meter, is Mac’s energy. It goes down when you have been punched or if your punch has been blocked. If it goes down to zero Mac will turn pink and start panting. Mac can’t punch during this phrase so the only option is to dodge punches until he regains his energy. When Mac is like this the opponent normally starts to go mental at Mac. Amount of energy varies on the opponent.
• When doing super punches in the later matches I suggest doing one in the last opportunity of punches in a combo after a dodge, as later opponents are capable of avoiding or countering them.
Now, in the words of Ant and Dec...LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!
Macs first opponent is an absolute joke of a boxer, as you can tell by his record. If you don’t beat him (with my instructions which I should even give to you because he is such a spas) I will have no respect for you as a gamer. Just punch him in the area he isn’t blocking while he stands there doing nothing. He can be quite annoying as he blocks a lot and can drain Macs heart. Eventually he will back off and taunt you and go back in and deliver the slowest hook in the world. It is actually quite off putting as it is so slow you will probably dodge too early. He will now start to throw some punches by doing more hooks and the odd jab, but they are slow and telegraphed so just dodge and punch. If you punch him now while he just stands there you may receive some stars to perform super punches, which he never dodges. For a easy win, when he is making his way back after taunting Mac, punch him in the stomach and he will go straight down. Lastly, look at his face during his introduction. It is as if he is having a stroke. All them loses have really damaged his head. No wonder he is so fucking shit.
If you have got this far well done, you are not a complete noob. Noob is getting put in the dictionary by the way, but back to Punch Out. Von Kaiser is more of an aggressive fighter than Glass Joe but still really easy and is quicker to knockdown. He will telegraph his punch by flashing and twitching his moustache. Later in the fight he just flashes. Just dodge and punch. Eventually he will try an uppercut, but like Glass Joe’s it is slow. He will duck down and flash, dodge and punch again and he will just stand there with his mouth open taking the punches like a bitch. Seriously you can get loads of punches in. The best aspect of this fight is when you perform a super punch when he is stunned and his mouth just starts to go mental. Straight enough, this is the only opponent that ducks.
Minor Circuit Champion and is the first challenge of the game. He will start with shuffling his feet and will eventually punch when he twitches his eyebrows and flashes. Dodge and punch him in the face a few times. You can’t just punch him while he stands like with Glass Joe and Von Kaiser, this bloke knows how to block. However you can punch him in the stomach when he twitches his eyebrows for a star. After a few of them he will try some hooks and uppercuts. They are easy to dodge and when you do, punch him in the stomach rather than the face as you get more hits. Soon enough he will back off and start hopping side to side and go back in and do a lot of straight punches. These can be devastating as he will throw quite a lot. Your only option is to block these until he stops. To KO him straight away, like Glass Joe, punch him in the stomach when he comes back from hopping about like pounce.
This fight is even easier than Glass Joe. But Don isn’t as shit as Glass Joe as you meet him again and he is so fucking.....well, let us wait till we get there. Anyway, Don will do some shit dance and when you start the fight he will just stand there taunting you. If you do nothing he will do it for the rest of the fight, seriously. The only way to win this is to punch him, which he blocks, and right after he will go for an uppercut. His uppercut is faster than the other opponents so far, but he will flash to telegraph it, just be ready to dodge and start going mental at his face. When he gets back up after being knocked down he will go straight away for another uppercut to try and surprise you. If you follow these instructions he is normally down for the count after you knock him down twice, but sometimes he can get up after about three or four. Other than that it should be easy to TKO him and you should gain enough points to win by decision, which is 5000.
This is the only fight where Doc Louis gives you decent advice. He eventually tells you to punch King Hippo in the mouth. You need to punch him in the face when he holds up his arm and opens his mouth. His shorts will drop and you just have to start punching him in the stomach. Repeat until you knock him down and he will never get up. Never! However he has another punch where he just slightly lifts his arm and all you can do is dodge or block it. He has no pattern to these punches so be careful and quick because his punches are powerful.
When I first played this game this is the bloke who I had a hard time beating. He will first throw some straights, but you can tell when the jewel on his turban starts to flash, dodge and punch him in the face. After a few of them he will do some uppercuts. Like Von Kaiser he will duck down and deliver them. However if you do a stomach punch in the direction he is ducking you will get a star. Get three stars then punch him in the face three times and do a super punch. When you have knocked him down two times he will go for his special move. This is where Great Tiger becomes an utter cunt. He will back off and do a magic dance then travel at a ridiculous speed around the ring while trying to punch you. The only way to get through it is to block around 5 of them in a row. He will punch straight after the sound, which is roughly over about half a second. If you don’t he will just keep on punching. Just remember: BOOOO, BLOCK, BOOOO, BLOCK, BOOOO, BLOCK, BOOOO, BLOCK! There is a rhythm to it. When you have blocked enough in a row he will get really dizzy and just stand there and all you have to do is punch him once in the face and he is down. You can only beat Great Tiger by TKO and decision, which you need 10,000 points for. It is necessary to get use to his special move as he always uses it in his time of need.
This bloke is BEAR massive. Look at him. How the hell do you beat him I hear you say? Well, he will first rotate his fists, when he does this, dodge as he will go for a jab and when you do punch him in the face (you can only punch him in the face). Soon he will do some hooks. He will telegraph this by moving his hands up and down. Do the same as before but this time you can punch him in the face three times. Have you noticed how your opponents don’t flash anymore? It gets a lot harder from here. Soon enough he will go for his special move, the Bull Charge. He will move to the far end of the ring, bob up and down a bit, and then charge at you with a punch that can knock you down straight away. You could dodge it but he just lines up for another one. Like with other opponents (you guessed it) you have to punch him in the stomach just before he punches you, and like his punch, you will get a straight knockdown. It is quite hard to get use to timing this. The trick is to not to do it too early. And you have to get use to this because like Great Tiger you can’t win by knockout. Furthermore, because it is a championship match you can’t win by decision so you have to go for the TKO. Lastly Bald Bull might do some uppercuts after some hooks, which he ducks down for, but he is very fast with them. If you get hit by one get ready to dodge another as he normally does one straight after.
Piston Honda (Second)
He is back, and he has gotten more defensive and annoying. Like before he will twitch his eyebrows and throw a jab, but this time he throws three in a row. If you are quick enough to dodge you can punch him in the face after his jab. Later in the match if you do this you will get a star for it. However, keep in mind if you do punch him after the jab he won’t jab a third time but go for an uppercut. This can be off putting as it is slower. After the jabs he will do two uppercuts at the same speed but no flash, and there is no need to do stomach punches like before, you get the same amount for stomach and face, which is four. And also like before he will back off from you and eventually come back and throw loads of straights at you. He won’t hop about this time, he will back off and go straight in so be ready. Like before you can knock him out straight away, but sometimes if your timing is slightly off you can hit him and just get a star instead of him falling on the mat. The star doesn’t matter as you are bound to get hit when he is wailing at you. Just keep on trying until you eventually get him. It is easy to win this one by decision as well.
This fight is all about endurance and timing as this guy is tough. He will start off with two hooks that he telegraphs by getting his left arm ready. He is a southpaw which means he is left handed. You can dodge it and get three punches in the face (like Bald Bull you can only punch him in the face), but you can punch him in the face as he gets ready for it and receive a star. He will do another one after. After that he will normally go for two uppercuts that he ducks for and are very quick. You can normally get six punches in the face when you dodge and punch it. Before you knock him down he varies between the two but mostly goes for the hooks. During the match he may go for a quick jab with his right that is hard to avoid so just take it. Rarely but mostly when you are out of energy he will shuffle his feet and delivery three jabs in a row. It is easy to avoid all three and punch him in the face for a few more after the third jab. When it comes to round two and every knock down (including your own) after that, Soda will always start with an uppercut with his left and then with his right so be ready to dodge straight away. He will repeat the left right uppercuts again but will only do the pattern once in the middle of the fight. These are followed by hooks. You will have trouble with him but you will get use to it. I certainly did after abut twenty tries. And yes! He was originally called Vodka Popinski but it was changed to Soda to be more family friendly. The most over used Punch Out fact EVER!
Bald Bull (Second)
If you are use to the face him he isn’t actually that hard. Once again you can’t beat Bald Bull by knock out but you can beat him by decision. If you have 7000 points by the third round and he is just repeating the Bull Charge you might as well just keep on dodging it until the bell. Unless you are confident in hitting him of course, and it is a lot easier to this time. Be sure to dodge his first charge because for his second he will back up half way. It is easier to hit him in the stomach this way as you go for it as soon as he charges. Other than that he starts off with rotating his fists and going for faster jabs again followed by the hooks, but watch out for the uppercuts. This time he will mostly start moving his fists up and down. Punch him in the face when he does this for a free star as you can only knock down Bald Bull this time with super punches and countering his Bull Charge. Lastly when you punch and he blocks he will punch back straight away.
Don Flamenco (Second)
As I was going to say, he is so fucking frustrating the second time. This time he will start to attack by stepping back and doing a jab. Dodge and punch for the face. He will go for some uppercuts as well after about maybe three of them so stay focused. Don’t start punching him waiting for his counter punch as he can dodge it from getting ready for his uppercut that has devastating results. After enough of that he will do his old technique and taunt at you waiting for a punch. Now you can do it. But this time he won’t always strike back, this is when he dodges and his head leans to the left. When his head stays in the centre he will go for the uppercut so dodge and go for the kill. This will drain your hearts but when you are out of energy he will always go for the uppercuts. Keep on doing this until he goes back to the jabs. Just repeat this. You need to knock him out about four times to win by decision. You should be able to knock him out in the third round or possibly get a TKO in the second.
This guy is so tough it is ridiculous. I haven’t even beaten him yet. And you thought I was the Punch Out expert, but you were wrong. However I will guide you to the best of my knowledge. Just like Bald Bull he will start with rotating his fists and deliver a faster straight. He will also punch when he blocks one of your punches. He will telegraph his hooks the same way but like the jabs they are faster. He can be a bit off putting as he mixes between left and right, including his jabs. When you do counter his hooks punch him in the face once and then start working on his stomach. This is the only way you can beat Mr Sandman, once in the face and the rest in the stomach. When there is a long pause this is when he will deliver his three uppercuts. He is so fast with them I don’t know when to move. If you manage to dodge the first one, which you have to dodge left for, dodge to the right straight away then to the left again. Punch once in the face and you can get loads of hits in the stomach. If you beat Mr Sandman you are a proper old skool gamer. Not that I’m not. I’m better with platform games.
Fuck the World Champion Super Macho Man. If you get to him you don’t need my help. I’m going straight for Mike Tyson with this code: 007 373 5963.
First Attempt: Got TKO’ed in 33 seconds.
Second: TKO’ed 55 seconds (progress).
Third: TKO’ed 36 seconds (shit).
Fourth: TKO’ed 1 minute 4 seconds (His one hit uppercuts don’t stick to the same time pattern).
Fifth: TKO’ed 31 seconds (FUCK IT).
I have gotten bored of this game anyway.
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