Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Best Post EVER.

Not really lol. After being up for nearly twenty four hours and only having two hours sleep, I'm suddenly buzzing to do another post. BUT TRICKO! Won't this kind of upset the balance of only posting a post on a Thursday around seven to tenish? SHUT UP YOU JEBEND! I make up my rulez as I go along.

I think Spiderman would make a kick arse postman.

If he is having trouble with the rent and there is no bad guys about, he can do some rounds. There is no money delivering pizzas Spidy. Get into the postal service. When he has a parcel he will knock on your door and say, 'Hello there guy. It's your friendly neighbourhood mail carrying Spiderman here.' Have you ever seen the film The Postman starring Kevin Costner? If not, DON'T! Complete fucking waste of time.

He is my latest paint masterpiece...

Its Eddie Vedder, the lead singer of Pearl Jam. The meaning of this picture is that he was looking at the moon through the window and he swore he saw the face of Jeremy in the moon. Jeremy was a kid who shot himself in front of his class mates and Eddie wrote a song about it. So, Eddie is clenching fist and thinking about poor Jeremy. This picture seemed more beautiful in my head.

And the album of the post shall be... Dust, by Screaming Trees. It's really good. For realz. Screaming Trees are not as heavy as other grunge bands like Nirvana or Alice in Chains, but more like Pearl Jam, but loads more psychedelic. Can't be asked to pick a song, so here is Screaming Trees myspace, I recommend listening to 'Nearly Lost You' and 'Look at You'. For some reason 'Look at You' is titled as 'Hey'. I really like the chorus to that song.”When I look at you I've got a second chance. Really need to have you now. One by one they fall it always breaks me down.” Awwwww. Isn't that lovely?

Last post I was recommending some hip hop, and now grunge. Bet you never saw that coming. I'm so unpredictable, like a pack of cards. You will be saying to me, 'Um, Queen of Clubs?' And I will just be standing there. Standing there. And I will then say, 'Mate... I'm the Three of Hearts.'

I'm really tired now. I'm going to bed. I'll have something a bit more logical next week.



Thursday, January 29, 2009

Why Sideburns are called Sideburns? And other shit...

It was a lovely Saturday lunch time and I was in my local pub, The County Arms, watching Hartlepool and West Ham in the FA Cup fourth round. West Ham won two nil by the way. COME ON YOU IRONS!!! I can feel it in my bones, it is our year to win the FA Cup. Anyway...When at the bar, there was this drunk Scottish bloke watching Rangers and Aberdeen on another TV. He noticed my furry sideburns and decided to talk to me. I've had sideburns since I was fifteen and have stuck with them since. I can recall one period when I shaved them off, but it was very brief. Back to the Scottish bloke, he asked me if knew why sideburns are called sideburns. I said to him that I didn't have a flippin scooby, no idea mate, haven't the foggiest. So he told me, sideburns are called sideburns because back in the old days blokes use to grow them to protect the side of their face, from the sparks made from the gunpowder when shooting a rifle. Pretty neat. I decided to check it out and launch yet another investigation.

What I found out did not match the Scottish blokes tale. Apparently there was this general in the American civil war called Ambrose Everett Burnside who grew them, and they later became known as sideburns. However, I have decided to trust a Scot on this occasion. His story does make sense. Sideburns were around before the American Civil War, they were quite popular for soldiers in the Napoleonic period. Furthermore, if you go into a Scottish National Art Gallery, all the old portraits of Scottish blokes have sideburns. So, he probably knows what hes talking about.

And I now present to you my favourite set of Sideburns.

Its Oliver Reed playing Bill Sykes in Oliver Twist. Look at them motherfuckers. You can just tell instantly that he plays an absolute bastard. I once grew a pair of mutton chops. They were banging. But ridiculous.

Enough of sideburns. This week, I was very keen on purchasing a chess set to up my game. I went into town and the average price for a chess set on the high street is twenty quid. TWENTY QUID! Thats well dear. Instead, I bought one off of ebay for a tenner. Pretty good buy. Entirely made of wood. Here is a picture of a game I played with Flat Eric. Look.

I have totally done him up with the old 'knight fork' technique (I'm white btw). He hasn't got a clue. Biting his nails, wondering what to do next. However, there is nothing he can do. I always beat him. Looking at him now, he probably need a run through the washing machine. Should stop using him as a duster.

Lastly, because I like listening to things, I want to spread my music taste to all of you.

Album of the Post- Santogold, by Santogold. Got some good tunes like L.E.S. Artistes and Creator. Its a very well balanced album. Proper hip.

Song of the Post- Concrete Schoolyard, by Jurassic 5. I'm more of a East Coast guy, but this West shit is nang.

Peace out.


Thursday, January 22, 2009

Does Conjoined Twin Myslexia Exist? I Investigate.

When watching the season two South Park episode 'Conjoined Fetus Lady' last weekend, it made me wonder, does Conjoined Twin Myslexia exist? If you are not aware of this, Conjoined Twin Myslexia is a condition where one of the conjoined twins dies in the womb and it's fetus is conjoined to the surviving twins head. Well, that is it to the best of my knowledge. So I went onto Google, turnt the safe search off, and Google imaged it. Have you seen this South Park episode by the way? It's the one when the boys play dodge ball and go to the world championship in China, as well as Nurse Gollum who has Conjoined Twin Myslexia. No? Well watch it then. Those Chinese commentators are jokes. It's the fifth episode of season two. I know the later series are mostly considered better, but season two and three are pretty good to.

I couldn't seem to find a believable picture on Google, so I typed it into Wikipedia and it showed me the page of the South Park episode I mentioned, where it said, “Kyle is horrified to discover, however, that she has a dead fetus attached to her head, due to a (fictional) condition called "Conjoined Twin Myslexia."” So there we have it, it doesn't exist. The creators of South Park made it up. However, I decided to look more into conjoined twins and read about the different types. There is Craniopagus (6% of conjoined twins), where the twins skulls are fused together, and there is Parasitic Twins (10%), where one twin is smaller and less formed. If you mix up them two types of conjoined twins, and if one of them was dead, you kind of get Conjoined Twin Myslexia. You reckon?

Reading more of Conjoined Twins on Wikipeida I found out that the condition is more common among females, on a ratio of 3:1. That sucks for girls, but they do normally have it better than men. Women tend to live longer, mature eariler and don't get colour blindness. These slight disadvantages probably don't even compare with child birth though. Women can easily become electricans as they won't get confused with different colour wires. Why aren't there hardly any female electricans? It doesn't make sense.

Conjoined Twins may not be a very upbeat subject. But to cheer you up even more, here are a few celebrities with Conjoined Twin Myslexia.


Why do I draw these pictures?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I’m in a Blogging Mood Again WHAAAAAAAAAY GO ME!!! (Introduction)

Looking back at my old blog, I realised it’s been nearly two years since my last post.

Two years you say? That’s MAD!

So, I felt a sudden urge to get back on the blog train. Choo choo. I will warn you mind, grammar is not exactly one of my strongest points as I tend to write how I speak. I have bought a grammar book though, which I tend to read soon.

Anyway, here is the new blog...TADAAA! As you could see, and read so far.

I would have continued the old one but I forgot the password, what e-mail I used and other shit like that. It was a lot easier to just start again. If you are wondering what to expect from this blog, I shall give the link to my old one, to give you a general idea. It won’t be exactly the same though, as I aim to improve. However, most likely, it will probably just be the same.

(Sorry I can't make it a link, Blogger is shit like that. Just copy and paste it into the search bar)

And a extra threat, here is a website I made ages ago and quite proud of.

You are probably thinking I am absolutely obsessed with Tom (now called Thom), but that’s the whole point of the site as it’s his fan club. I’m not mental.

I suspect I will make a fresh post sometime next week. Well, I hope I can be bothered to.

All the best, love Tricko.

P.S. Here is a picture of Joseph Stalin I made on Paint.

God! I love Paint.