Thursday, January 14, 2010


I think everyone is a little obsessive compulsive, just like how everyone is a little bit racist. That may be a shit comparison since racism isn’t a disorder, but what I’m saying is that everyone is something to some scale. For example, whenever I am in a moving car I’m always tempted to open the door. I never do but it is just annoying that it always comes to mind along in other possible dangerous situations. When on the wiki page for OCD I discovered that Argentina had the highest population of OCD sufferers in 2002. Argentina? You think it would be a country with a bigger population like China, India or U.S.A. When looking at the number of famous people who have OCD I came across this website ( Disabled-world? Anyway, it is quite interesting, but my favourite person with OCD (even though he isn’t real) is Monk. Have you ever watched Monk? It’s totally tits. It’s normally on one of the BBC channels during day time TV. He is a detective who notices clues no normal man would do. I declare that Monk is the unofficial king of OCD sufferers, and to honour this I made a picture on paint of him going mental because he fell over and his hands landed in dog shit.

OCD jokes are quite easy to make, but if you want to have a laugh here is a list (in no particular order) of games to play on people who suffer from it. All won’t work on mild OCD sufferers. You could do this on people who suffer with autism, but that may be going too far, I feel this is harsh enough.

  • Ask if they stepped on every step when they went up or down some stairs (this may backfire as they might so obsessive compulsive they actually did, making you look like a proper pillock).
  • Rearrange a number of books/DVD’s/ornaments (etc) in a collection, turning them upside down or back to front (as well as putting different discs in different cases).
  • Do a shit in the middle of their floor.
  • Hide the antibacterial soap dispenser, or replace contents with mayonnaise.
  • Switch the tap knobs and say that you put all the spanners and wrenches in the inside of your pants.
  • When out, constantly ask if they locked the back door, turned the oven off, turned the iron off, etc. Or if you want to be interesting, ask them if they done something they defiantly didn’t do, e.g. “Did you clean the bottom side of your wooden flooring?” When they say no claim that you, and everyone else did.
  • (I will do one for autistics). Shout random orders of numbers in their face. E.g. 56, 8, 308, 92, 6, 4, 7763, 83, 1.2, etc.
  • Run around in front of them while holding scissors while singing “I’m the Scissor King and you have OCD” (may backfire).
  • Tell them gross facts, such as the average bed contains ten million dust mites, or that the average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime.
  • Start a game of ‘ad’ (‘it’ to Americans) and always insist you are ‘it’ while constantly tapping them.
  • Have a tickle fight.
  • Tell them that you don’t believe in soap, and then start touching their face.
  • (If you want to be really harsh) convince them that their notions are incorrect and completely unacceptable in reality and that they should do something about it in order to stop embarrassing themselves as well as everyone around them. Followed by handing them a knife or a loaded gun and telling them that they are hated by everyone for what they are.

Would probably leave the last one for someone you really hate. REALLY hate.

A lot of people I know don’t seem to use Twitter anymore. So, since it isn’t as cool as everybody thought it was I’ve decided to join. You can hear (read) my tweets at

There is an OCD joke on there that I would like to take credit for, but I’m sure others have thought of it already. I will most likely get bored of Twitter myself soon enough. Follow me anyway.

Next post will be next month and will have the new episode of ‘The New Adventures of Jesus Christ’, I promise.



P.S. Yes I have updated Toms Fan Club. In which country is he having a crazy adventure in this time?

Only one way to find out.